Category Archives: Blog

A Time Gift or A Gift of Time?

I’m so proud of my kids’ gifts to one another this past Christmas. It shows what they value most as they thoughtfully picked out treasures that will last a lifetime. The kind of gifts that are hard to find and take an effort to give. The gifts of time together. Our daughter gave her husband a date-night a month for the year. Our son delighted his wife with tickets to a show she didn’t even know was coming to town. The guys took the older kids to see the monster truck show and the girls did pedicures together. Both families are busy parents; both had babies born last year. Time is a precious commodity in their lives. I’m grateful they enjoy spending it together, making memories.

I believe we make time for what’s important to us. Creating memories with those we love has value beyond the moment of opening a new trinket. Not that trinkets aren’t fun. I can walk throughout my house and enjoy special things, remembering the giver and the occasion. I appreciate those, too; some from childhood or our wedding! And I certainly enjoy a new watch for my collection! It’s a different gift of time – which in truth doesn’t serve my memory bank as well as those priceless moments when I’ve taken a family trip or given a listening ear to a friend.

What we spend our time on is what we value most. There have been days filled with so many ‘to-do’ lists that giving a helping hand or slowing down enough to let someone else go first in that waiting line seems impossible. I get that. The seasons where we are pouring into a career or education or raising a family leave a rare moment to ourselves, much less energy to give to another.

Time, however, can’t be gotten back or collected. Relationships can’t be microwaved. One lifetime. What is it that will outlive us? As a grandparent, I love to give the ‘aha moment’ gifts! I also treasure the hours together that let friends and family know I value them. But giving time to help someone who can give nothing in return gives me a pretty good reading on my heart. And it tends to draw me to the heart of God, who has freely given us all things including His only Son. A precious gift that shows the depth of His love and value for me and all of humanity. One of the best gifts we can give ourselves is time with that God who created us, knows us and loves us.

It’s the day for a cleaning project at our house – deep cleaning. I love cleaning or rather the effects of it! We’re not talking a little dust, this is The Closet. Because life usually goes at such a fast pace, clutter can evolve into a mess that becomes a big stack that is eventually overwhelming. It would be less harrowing to throw unnecessary stuff away at the time, but as my dad used to say, “You never know when you might need that!”, and his sheds and barns were proof of it! It made for interesting ‘treasures’ as a kid with an imagination, but it became quite a cleaning task as an adult. There were also some dangerous old apparatuses left exposed and I remember a playtime that ended up with a bloody gash on my brother’s back from falling on one of those apparatuses. (I like that word.)

This closet is in my husband’s office. Woo Hoo! The shredder got a work-out. The trash carts are full! I like clean and organized, but this area wasn’t really my stuff to decide on. I got to be the cheerleader as he tossed out antiquated electronics and stuff that I wasn’t attached to. It was great to get some extra space. The sad part was realizing those once-expensive things no longer have value as technology changes. (There was only one VHS player!) Not everything was valueless, but sorting through it all brought freedom.

I find that my heart does better with constant cleaning. Checking to see if there are any destructive apparatuses stashed there. Letting go of what has no value for living in freedom. Sometimes I’ve allowed things into my mind and emotions that bring clutter and evolve into a mess. When I’ve let an offense sit on top of a hurt the pile of ugly grows, and it can become more to deal with than if I had let it go right away. A renewed mind has a clearer focus. Room for freshness and creativity.

A mind full of regrets, disappointments or ugly thoughts is like static on the radio that keeps us from hearing the One Voice that matters. When we line up our heart with His and throw away what’s not of Him, faith has room to grow and free us.

As human beings, we get to choose what remains in our heart. Others can cheer us on, but we make the decisions on what we keep and what has value. When we’re ‘attached’ to hurts of the past, unresolved pain or dirty, rotten lies, it becomes a bigger job to choose forgiveness and throw out what can hurt our future. Wounds in our heart can be created by dangerous beliefs that aren’t put in their rightful place. To be healthy, we get rid of unhealthy. Cleaning out destructive apparatuses is less painful than trying to avoid them.

I’m grateful for the living and active and powerful word of God – the Bible – a gift to mankind to restore our body, soul, and spirit. Thinking about things that are pure, lovely, virtuous and kind… well, those thoughts will change our heart and our attitude. A relationship with a kind God, who wants us whole, will reveal what needs to be cleaned out so we can live in real freedom. The hard work of choosing to let go is worth the freedom. And the benefits of a lifestyle of freedom are a great reward.

Text Message from God

It began several months ago when I woke up way too early with a heavy heart. Something wasn’t right and I needed reassurance. I wanted to pray a quick one in my comfortable bed and go back to sleep. Somehow, I knew this one took more effort on my part and I headed to my prayer room. Thirty minutes later I really didn’t feel any better, but I left it with God and headed back to bed. I remember thinking that I really wanted to be up by 6:00. Although my alarm wasn’t set, I woke up at 6:00. Exactly. I hurried to fix some breakfast, got ready for the day and as I cruised past my alarm clock, my eyes glanced at the time. 7:00. Exactly. Hmm. Something stirred deep inside.

On my way home that afternoon, I made an unexpected stop at Sprouts. No list for groceries, just a few things I’d grabbed for guests coming later. As I waited in line, I heard the clerk across from me tell her customer that his amount was $34.00 even. Again, something inside of me stirred. I wonder if. No, that wouldn’t. Not me. But as the clerk gave me the total, I was stunned. Thirty-five dollars even. Exactly. I couldn’t wait to get out of that store, back to my car and let the tears come.

This spoke to my heart. God was exactly on time. He knew exactly what was needed in that situation. He would meet that need in exactly the right way. And finally, peace came.

I didn’t see the answer right away. It wasn’t what I thought it would be, but it was amazing. And my heart knew it was exactly right from a God who is exactly on time.

Several months later I had an appointment that concerned me. At the exact moment I walked in the door I got a text message from an unknown number. The message was an encouraging Bible verse, given in personal form for me. Great message. Great timing. Who’s number? And how did they know mine? I hurried to my computer and looked up the area code. It was from a neighboring country! Whoa.

I asked. It was someone I respect greatly but had never talked to them about what concerned me. It felt like I was getting a text from God. Oh, I know, humans don’t compare to the Almighty One. I am well aware. But, then again, His plan is for us to live in community. To be part of a body of believers. And He does still speak to our hearts.

It happened again. With impeccable timing, ‘God’s’ number came up on my text message with an incredible word of encouragement. Chance? Happenstance? At that moment? I don’t think so.

I’d also gotten encouraging words from one who knows me well. One who knew I needed encouragement. She prayed. God gave her something for me. I value her wisdom and hope came from her words.

Not having encouraging relationships isn’t living. It’s existing. We are designed by our Creator to need Him and to need other human beings. Sometimes we pray alone and His answer comes with the encouragement that He knows us. Other times we share our need and value who He’s placed in our life.

We live on earth, but we are known and loved by the God of heaven and earth. The One who’s designed us to have earthly relationships that reflect heaven. Hope usually comes from encouragement. I find that being connected with others who are followers of Jesus, is usually the best place to get the encouragement that brings hope. And if they send me a text message that sounds like God, I’ll take it. And be thankful that He still uses people.

My first Treasure Hunt was awkward and uncomfortable…and awesome! We met as a group of students to pray for “God clues” to show us ‘who and what’ He wanted to touch through us that day. We ended up at Wal-Mart, looking for people we believed to be ‘treasures’ God wanted to love through us. It felt pretty uncomfortable to me, but I courageously stepped over the ‘chicken’ line. The result of those moments of risk-taking was that our team brought hope to a young man that was God’s treasure, and our timing made a difference for his eternity.

That was two years ago. This past Sunday as I talked with this young man – the treasure – it encouraged me to always take the risk, with God’s hand holding mine when I sense His nudge or ask for His “clue.”

I’m not a risk-taker by nature, and certainly not for someone I don’t know. That’s why it’s important to genuinely know the God I follow and trust Him whole-heartedly. When I’m asked to step out in faith, I’ll say yes because I know the risk is completely covered by His presence.

Another Treasure Hunt found me paired up with a young tattooed woman (we looked as different as night and day!), but her heart beat with the same intensity as mine for God’s treasures. A young man with crutches was who we identified as the ‘treasure’ from our clues list that day. He let us pray right there in the store. “A little better,” he said when we finished. Well, we were faithful, and he seemed encouraged. What if nothing happened? Then again, what if it did? We might never know.

The tattooed lover of Jesus and I, just happened to be close to the exit doors when crutches guy was leaving. Only now he was carrying his crutches in one hand and walking with no limp! It did happen, and we did get to see it.

These intentional times of treasure hunting have created an awareness within me that I’m on assignment for bringing His love in many ways wherever I go. Living at a level of risk becomes our heart’s desire when we begin to see that God wants to use us to bring His love in tangible ways like this. It doesn’t usually get comfortable or less awkward, but we’re created to bring transformation to our world and getting ‘clued in’ to His is the best way to do this.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matthew 6:21

An Issue of the Heart & the Dr.’s Office

I get a lot of life lessons from kids. Last night as I was going to bed, I was talking to God (some call it praying, so no, I don’t need a psych evaluation), and I remembered a conversation I’d heard that day between a young mom and her child. She told the child she couldn’t hear a whining voice. I was reminded of that moment since my ‘prayer’ sounded similar to what that child was doing. It’s good to ‘draw near’ to Him, but it’s also necessary to grow up in Him.

Don’t judge me, but I have my annual physical scheduled, and that’s what I was whining…er talking, with Him about. It’s one of my ‘trigger’ spots for some anxiety – a medical office. Your ‘spot’ is probably different, but most of us have one. Or two. I did ask about having a virtual visit since they offer that. Ha!

Sometimes I’m a bit like that whining child. When I dislike doing something, I bring God into it and want Him to let me whine and hope that’ll make me feel better.

Don’t get me wrong; I think He wants to be a part of everything in our lives and we can certainly talk with Him about all our ‘stuff’. But that child who was whining was a mess! She didn’t want to do a simple task at that moment, and her face and emotions were pathetic.

I remembered my pastor’s sermon on Sunday about the people God took out of slavery and plagues (think swarms of flies or frogs in your bed) and they later complained that they were tired of eating manna (they didn’t have to cook or shop for it – seems like a good deal) and wanted to go back to eating leeks! Leeks?

I began to wonder what it is that God really likes to talk about if we’d let Him start the conversation. What is it that draws His heart to ours? He told His disciples that His main concern when He returns was to ‘find faith on the earth’.

He’s drawn to faith. Then that’s what I want to have. That story even seems to be in the context of a whining woman bothering a judge continually until she gets what she wants. But I would rather be someone God finds in that group who have ‘faith on the earth’, and know He’s drawn to that, than to get an answer (or at least relief) because I was an intense pest.

So, you want the rest of the story, what happened, a good ending? I’m like that, too! For me, it’s not merely ‘sucking it up’ and enduring well. It’s recognizing there’s a heart issue that needs attention. Fear because of intimidation or worry because of past confrontation can be brought to God in honesty. I then allow what He says (the Bible) to have the greater influence.

Trust comes as we recognize Who we are because of Who He is and make the conscious choice to replace our thought patterns with His. As a daughter of The King, I don’t lack for anything, and it’s my responsibility to act like it. I choose to believe Him when He tells me that I’m strong and courageous, an overcomer and a conqueror. Just like that mom, He’s not drawn to whining when He knows that’s not my full potential.

I can’t say that I had a fun time! Not even close. I am in great health and work hard to maintain it. But here’s the thing I’m learning. The people in that medical office are human beings and when I focus on relationships, I value time spent with them as a gift. A place to give kindness. A challenge to bring a moment of goodness to their world. When I purposefully take the focus off of me, I see a lot clearer and respond a whole lot nicer. And then thank the Lord I don’t have to do this very often and treat myself to dessert! Or maybe not. No need to hasten my return there!

We can’t be on vacation forever, but life can be a perpetual adventure. Hearing fellow travelers’ stories is as intriguing to me as finding beautiful seashells. I’m the adventurer, much to My General’s chagrin, but he’s become seasoned to it over time!

On this trip, the beachside trail seemed to be more of a detour than a destination. Fellow hikers stopped to say hello and mentioned they were headed to the coffee shop. Ooh, could we follow? We had no idea where we were going, and yes, they were happy to have us join them. Originally from Switzerland, he had left the world of finance to start a vineyard in New Zealand with nothing but a piece of land that had been an apple orchard. His knowledge of wine and ours was worlds apart! My General’s ‘cloud’ knowledge also introduced a new world, a cloud she had never heard of. How fun that conversation was!

Even on vacation, there are many ‘hurry up and wait’ times. This time a family who came from our part of the world and found their vacation spot to be too big not to share it. So, they talked the grandparents back home into joining them for an unexpected vacation. Four hours later they were on a plane! Laughing, ‘Gram’ told me she had come with only a carry-on and hadn’t worn makeup since arriving. I could feel her pain! They also gave us a heads up on where not to eat….seems ‘farm to table’ has a different meaning than back home! You eat all of the parts of the pig at one meal. All.

Or the honey-mooners from Montana who I knew to be from my cultural background by their style of dress. Sweet couple, surprised by my revelation. We figured somehow we knew some of the same folks but never quite made the full circle before our ticket call came.

I love reading or writing a good story, but the “life” ones with real folks are the best.

Sometimes our ‘detour’ leads to an international friendship, possibly a divine appointment. Did I mention we ‘happened’ to meet again on our last morning on the island? She told me they’d just been talking about us. Yep, we had coffee together again!

Sometimes our ‘waiting’ time is purpose-full. We can skip something pain-full! Sometimes we learn more from ‘chance’ meetings than we could have imagined.

All of us have stories. Opportunities to share them makes life more interesting. Makes me want to say ‘Mahalo’ to the One who created us, and to think differently about what seems to be a detour, a waiting season or a coincidence. And to really and truly trust that my steps are ordered by a good God and that He loves my adventurous heart! Aloha

The rat died! Yep, right there in front of the garden, which seems like vindication happening at that spot. I’ll spare you a picture of him! This picture is where he put his trophy- our prize tomato! It was an in-your-face, see-what-I-can-do placement.

Embarrassing really. But we live in the desert and have fruit trees and tomatoes. This rat was belligerent. He’d gnaw through our netted cage, pick a tomato, take 3 bites and set it outside like his prize. Grr! My General Patton did some prayin’ and set out some ‘special gems’ for him to ingest!

It reminds me of times when ‘rats’ invade our heart. That’s the ‘garden’ – the productive place of God in us. Rats come in various forms-fear of what others think, isolation, hopelessness, holding on to hurts-all seeking to destroy our fruit.

It’s important to find out what the destructive force is and recognize the enemy of God’s truth to us. We can turn our heart toward heaven and find His Word on it. We have power over these enemies when the All-Powerful One lives in us. We can choose to agree with what He says about us and understand the authority we’ve been given.

Here’s what the All Powerful One says, “I AM the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness but will have the Light of Life.”

The light of truth exposes the ‘rats’ and gives us the resources from His world to deal with the stuff in ours. To have good fruit, they’ve got to go.

This is the photo of my yummy tomatoes since he’s gone! WooHoo!

God and the fob

Last week I got a new car. My old car had served me well for many years, and I had a sense our time together was at an end. My General Patton (he protects me from lots of things, including car dealers!) had even done some test driving and lots of research. It was a violent demise, but no wreck. As I turned onto a busy street close to my daughter’s house, it began to make a horrific noise and shake violently. I thought I had blown a tire and was able to pull over, and onto a side street. I checked the tires and they were fine.

First call was to my General! He knows a lot about cars and especially mine. Long story, and since mechanics isn’t my specialty, I won’t go there. Point is, the car’s problem was not worth the cost of repairs.

My new car has a key fob for starting it. I looked it up! It’s a small security device with built-in authentication used to secure access. Uh-huh. The key’s actually hidden inside. The car is designed to access its power only when the fob is near. I’ve never had this kind of relationship with a car before. If that fob is in my purse, the locked doors will open with my touch. If I leave it behind in the car and try to walk away, it alerts me. Loudly. I usually jump!

Maybe it’s a bit like our relationship with God. There’s authentication needed to secure access. We can’t access His power without a genuine connection. We’re designed to be connected to Him as the power source for our life. It means we draw near to Him. He’s not a magician to just give us what we want when we pray. Our heart and His need to be linked.

The keys to God’s kingdom are different from this world’s. God’s original design for mankind was unlimited access to Him. In the garden of Eden, Adam & Eve walked and talked with God. Whatever they needed, they had access to. Because sin separates us from a holy God, life on earth changed. Jesus’ death and resurrection restored the keys of the kingdom to those who choose to believe in Him. Those keys give us unlimited access to the eternal realm in every way.

I like that I can’t lock myself out of my new car unless I ignore the warning. I like that about my relationship with God, too.

Kindness Matters

We met them on vacation. The two of them walked in front of us as we crossed the street going to the tourist area. We were in a hurry. On vacation! They walked slowly. His right leg was in a brace, and he used a cane on that side. His left hand was pulling a small, bicycle-like walker. It seemed odd. She was a few steps behind him, bouncy and happy. I tried to pass her, but she was very chatty and asked if we were enjoying our time there and where we were from.

She told me her husband was an officer with something, but her voice trailed off and I didn’t understand the rest. I asked what he was an officer with? She looked at me and then at the Burger King we were passing and said, “Burger King”.

Oh. Hmm. Something going on here. He turned around then and asked her if she could tell him where the pizza place was, and she did.

She turned back to me and asked where we were from. Again. I began to understand.

This was love in action. She was lost in her own world, trusting him completely. And he was taking care of her, allowing her dignity despite her illness.

She wanted to talk and began another conversation. He asked her again to tell him where the pizza place was. It took her a minute to process this time, but she pointed in the right direction.

We wished them a good night and walked toward the shops. Somehow we ended up at the same pizza place later, and I saw them leave. She was still happy and bouncy. He was making sure she was cared for.

I don’t know if it was Alzheimer’s or something else. I do know this brief encounter touched me. Simple yet profound. Kindness matters. I remembered it as I was falling asleep; the walker he was bringing for her with his free hand, the questions to help her focus on her surroundings, letting her be who she was and not interfering with her happy conversation.

It seems to me that our world needs more kind actions and fewer words. And I’m a words person! There’s certainly a time to use words. But the best Book ever written says it’s God’s kindness that brings about the desire in hearts to change. What if our kindness exceeded our words? What if our words matched our kind actions? I think our world would become a better place.

Human Doing or Human Being?

Does your life make a difference? Is the world a better place because you are in it? Most of us want to answer ‘yes’ and know we have a purpose. But some seasons of our life don’t feel very productive or valuable. Other times we become ultra-accomplishment focused and lose sight of the simplicity of caring and kindness.

I grew up in a very conservative Mennonite family. I refer to those days as “cap and gown” since I wore a head covering and a cape dress. All the time. I could ride a bicycle in a long, flowy dress. I could climb ladders and fences in a dress. My parents were horse and buggy Amish. My first language was a dialect of high German often known as Pennsylvania Dutch. It was an idyllic childhood that was filled with family and community and laughter. As I came into pre-teen years, there were a lot of rules, and I began to thrive as a human doing. But my heart hungered for freedom. I wanted to experience God, not just know about Him. It was a deep desire to know that His love is relational, not conditional on my keeping of the rules.

The past few months I’ve had amazing opportunities to sit across from women who share the stories of their lives. Lives that are way off my grid. One was a pagan witch, another a turban-wrapped mother with her one-year-old turban-wrapped child who was in a very controlling relationship. I also met with a fully-burka-clad Muslim who was lovely and kind and a 19-year-old who was being influenced by many of her friends to think that smoking marijuana during pregnancy would make babies smarter.

Where they come from and where I’ve come from is quite different! I’ve not experienced the horrors of many of their lives, and I don’t claim to have easy answers. I do know that each one needs to know they have value because they are human beings, not human doings. I tell them that.

I also know that they, like me, have been created with a God-shaped hole inside of them that we as humans attempt to fill with lots of things. Many try to earn God’s pleasure with religious ‘doings’, not realizing He’s done it all for us. There’s no true peace without that ‘hole’ in us being filled by a God who knows us. A God who lovingly gives us everything we need for fulfillment.

I never expected to be at this place at this moment. A little Mennonite girl with no confidence and a fear of talking to people. What seems like an unlikely pairing of women is, in reality, a divine connection. There have been many seasons where I felt like not much was happening. I had to take risks and trust Him to do the impossible. Some days I still feel like a drop of water in a sea of impossible human situations. But I trust that Almighty God can use that one drop to create a ripple, and that small ripple can affect my world for good. Only then, can I truly make a difference and make my world a better place.

Because of God and His kindness, and the encouragement of people He strategically set in my path, I have come to know I have value and significance not by what I can DO, but by Who I belong to. And because I live for a God who values relationships, I do my best to bring that offer to those He brings into my world.

HeartEyes

seeing with the eyes of my heart